butrflyz's Xanga

tempted by crissy

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 07:13:49 GMT

should i get this? so purty... RM62 + RM8 shipping charges O_o

Chicago

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:28:17 GMT

Since I am lepakking in office on a Sunday, here's another entry on the US trip. Biggest mistake is blogging about it five months later from when it happened, probably will miss out on the littlest details. "An unreflected experience is a wasted experience", as Colin used to tell us at RBS (yes, six years on and it still "haunts" me, in a good way, to keep on journaling/blogging!)

Thurs, May 21

Woke up pretty late - A Eng Lee already HAD her breakfast and was already chatting on the PC downstairs by the time I reached the breakfast area! I think we chatted online with Lokkie and my brother for a while. I go back to the room to laze around. I think A Eng Lee came back up and we watched some TV as we waited for Chuen to arrive - there was a delay as he was helping a friend move some stuff.

Much, much later... the room phone rings and guess who.... :) All I could think of was: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He arrives and crashes onto bed exhausted from presumably helping friend carry TV and other big heavy stuff.. or maybe it was just a really big TV. A Eng Lee and I dash across to the other side of a really wide road to tapau lunch from McD's. The menu is totally different so we tembak and ordered a variety of burgers to takeaway, one with bacon, no doubt! The nurse seemed pretty irked by our indecisiveness, but hey, we're new in this town! Sheesh! :P

In true gondol fashion, we napped for a very short while after lunch as it was just too hot an afternoon to head downtown so soon. Hunted for the train station and took a while figuring out the ticketing machine but we were finally on a train downtown!

[to be continued as I can finally go home from office!]

情感

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:02:35 GMT

I interviewed an elderly man in his 70s -- complete with beard and full of Confucious-inspired Chinese proverbial wisdom to share -- this morning and this was what he told me over lunch (we had been talking since before the interview started):

"You have a lot of... passion. That means you are very.... 情感 ...*pauses for a moment to think of how to translate it for this banana girl* that means, sentimental (or maybe he meant emotional?) That means, you fall in love easily, and when you love, you love with all your heart, and even more than the other person! True or not?!" he laughed. Hmm. Reminds me of a conversation I had with Erik once upon a time at the State yong tau foo stall.

That led to an awkward yet humorous conversation with other older uncles giving me advice about love and life. What an peculiar but humourous morning.

Anything but ordinary, you were

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:38:23 GMT

When I first saw you, I thought you were just ordinary. A plain simpleton… but as we traveled from Chicago to LA, slowly, I realized the true potential you had when we hung out at the airport in Salt Lake City. You looked different then, a little more dressed up than the usual you.

Then, you were gone… just like that. I tried to slow down our parting, but it was inevitable. I had to board a plane… you had to go too.

Ah bagel. I miss you. You tasted too good I had to eat you.

Our last picture before we parted...

almost a quarter done with a century

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:41:34 GMT

Blessed to have lived more than two decades. Waking up every morning is a miracle, if you think about it - there are people who have not woken up from their sleep.

Torn about work. Deep down, I don't know if I can do this forever.

Lonely when I am distant from my Heavenly Father. True contentment that comes from abiding.

Deep joy when I hear of a friend returning to God after being away for a long time. Only God makes them grow.

Gutted when I have to choose between priorities in relationships. You can't have everything, dad always said.

Warmed by God's goodness in small everyday ways.

Guilty for always finding excuses and focusing on the hopelessness. O me of little faith.

Humbled by and grateful for acts of generous and extravagant love shared with me.

Hopeful about what the future holds.

Pray with me as I work on this renovation in progress - myself. Through You, I can do everything.

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still, know You are God

Love you... or keep score?

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 03:46:40 GMT

F: ... but do you really want to love me? Or do you want to win?

M: I want to love you.

F: ...for no points?

M: No points.

F: ...no bonuses?

M: No bonuses.

F: ...just... just for free?

M: Just for free.

-The Ledger People

We laugh at the silliness of the matter, that a married couple would keep a ledger of their relationships with the people around them but I find myself fighting the calculative tendencies within myself every so often, especially when I feel I am taken for granted and that I deserve better treatment. Thank God that He isn't as calculative with me, and I pray for the grace to help me to forgive, and to love without condition. Who ever said it was easy to love one another? Only possible with the Holy Spirit's enabling. As TRU is reminded again and again this year, let's Live Out Love.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 05:54:37 GMT

i miss my human jacket :(

Amedika [Pt 1 - Arriving]

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 17:01:11 GMT

Sunset at the Grand Canyon. One of my favouritest pics because of the silhouette effect of tree branches and a human too! :)

Here's my attempt at chronicling the trip to the States - land of impressive public toilets, different landscapes, ribs and bagels. Because the trip was SO long, I would have to split the storytelling into different days, a few at a time so pardon the potong-stim-ness, if any. Photos will be added as and when, haven't had time to thoroughly go through and select pictures!

Pre-US (Days before May 20)
Trying to clear stories and work before I go on a 2-week leave is pretty hectic. If you know how slow I am in writing, you'll understand why I get easily stressed by it. Anyways, managed to finish my store brands feature and another interview write-up. Thank God my colleague offered to write-up an interview we did together, knowing that I had stories to clear. On the night of May 19, I had to meet up with a friend at 12am to settle an issue urgently. Went straight from work, got home around 1am. Started packing.... until 6am -_-" Yes, I am a slow packer, and this was the US - who's to know what to pack, right? In my haste, forgot to look for my camera charger. Lo and behold, time to leave for the airport as my ride arrives - I had no choice but to leave my battery-dead camera behind. Lesson learnt - don't pack for a 2-week trip at the very LAST MINUTE! Bad habits die hard.

May 20
Was zombiefied most times but yakkkkkked with Li Za and her mom almost the whole way to the airport. Am so grateful I had them for company for the first half of my trip - her dad was flying the plane and they were heading to Taipei on the same flight, so I managed to get a ride from them to the airport! I'm so lucky!

Za and A. Veron while we were waiting to board the plane at KLIA. First met A. Veron when I went over to Za's house eons ago for Youth Camp preparations and she hasn't changed at all - still as sporting and funny as ever, never a dull moment with her. And Za's holding "my heart", which is now with Chuen. My backpack was SO full , Za offered to kindly hold on to it for me throughout the KL-Taipei flight.

On board, there's in-flight movies! I hadn't seen a movie since... Iron Man (I think) so I watch pretty much all the brainless options - chick flicks and comedies - since I was in zombie mode, which meant a drama or thriller is a no-no! Confessions of a Shopaholic, Bride Wars, Juno, Marley & Me - tearjerker :( Made me think of my late Max (Maxi Doodle Cutey Poodle) so much that I penned a poem for him, emo! (For the uninformed, Max was my first dog who had unrequited love for JD Shorty Poopsella). I actually refrained from sniffling too loudly lest the flight attendants think I had the sniffles (H1N1 paranoia ma)! Dog lovers - you HAVE to watch Marley & Me or as Iishan suggested, "The book is even better!"

Arrive at Taipei and spotted many Myanmar folk with tickets to the US. I wonder if they will settle well there, being in a different culture. Taiwanese airport staff were wearing face masks.

Arrive at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX). Silly me decides to wear a face mask UPON reaching the airport, whereas common sense would have been to wear it on board the plane from the very beginning (I blame the illogical reasoning on lack of sleep :P). Helped a Taiwanese lady with her immigration form using my smattering Mandarin, wish I had conversed more with her about her life story but my vocab is SO limited. Amazed I could understand what she was saying and she could mine!

Upon reaching the immigration counter, I decide to ditch the mask as I had to have my picture taken. Undergo short interogation and wait forever for luggage to appear. Wait even longer to exit the baggage clearance area as sniffer dog sniffs through the queue of passengers. Flight crew are not spared - subjected to the same treatment.

Now I understand what Chuen meant by the U-shaped airport terminal - you arrive at the middle of the "U" and have to walk allllllll the way to the tip of the "U"! I rush because I thought I would be late for check-in for my connecting flight to Chicago O'hare Airport. Thanks to U Govi, I didn't have to pay additional charges for my check-in luggage... First class, baby! (Again! Whee!) With more than an hour to kill before boarding, I pay a visit to the bookstores. First, a convenience mart kinda place. To my amusement/amazement - tonnes of magazines available, especially of the gossip tabloid variety. Americans really love their celebs man. I buy a Fortune, Time and Fast Company - influence from work, as you can see :P Fast Company is REALLY interesting though, I highly recommend for a creative read. Proceed to a real bookstore - spend more time browsing through magazines and spotted yet another cool DIY mag but sadly, I forget to jot down the title.

Arrive at Chicago O'hare Airport, exhausted from the day's travel. Collected my luggage from the carousel and lugging it along, I was so relieved and happy to see a familiar face waving frantically at me from afar... Turned out to be Aunty Eng Lee! A hug and a smile in the midst of uncertainty and unfamiliarity is so comforting, like hot Milo on a rainy day. She had flown in from Washington (correct me if I'm wrong, A Eng Lee!), and prior to that - from Aun's place, and we had planned to meet and stay together for the next couple of days in Chicago/Grand Rapids (where Chuen stays). We get a cab and then worry a little as the cabbie seemed uncertain of the destination - an inn not too far from the airport. It was dark out and I was praying so hard we wouldn't get lost or get cheated by the cabbie if he should take "the scenic route" and charge us more or something. After all, we were at his mercy in a foreign land!

Thankfully, we arrive. Check-in. Place is pretty decent for the price we paid, IMHO, as good as a hotel even though it was supposedly a small inn! I highly recommend it. Haha. And free wi-fi and PC to use in the common area! Whee! Chuen calls the room and chats a while with us about plans to meet tomorrow. It is so surreal -- we are talking on the phone within the SAME COUNTRY! :)

Next post: Chicago!

First morning. First view from the room window!

Times of testing are times of refinement

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 17:05:45 GMT

It's so hard to rejoice in any and every circumstance. I am struck by how Paul and Silas worship in times of darkness and uncertainty, and how Job chooses to worship God when all is seemingly robbed of him, even when he is righteous.

I need God every hour. I am constantly struggling to keep up with the pace of life. Workload that is never ending but increasing even more, as with everyone else in this downturn.Ministry, where demands are not less with the downturn, and how both work and ministry have been affected by each other. Pray for me please, that I have better time management and discipline.

To friends and family whom I've ignored (you know who you are) or haven't made time for over the past few months (whenever you call me out for shopping, yum cha, meet ups, movies, what nots), I'm really sorry. It is not that you are less important, but please understand that workload and demands have increased significantly this year, and ministry commands no less attention, if not more. And I am only human, needing time to recuperate and time to spend on my own. Know that I love you and care deeply for you even though I fail to show it with my time, I am still trying to find that work life balance! Pray with me, that I do. As evidenced by this blog's dead-ness, I really haven't the time as I used to.

God is revealing more of my character that needs refinement, often through the hard way of facing problems, disappointing people and feeling horrible at the end of the day. Please pray with me for me, that I learn how to be humble, especially in dealing with criticism, and not take it personally, be defensive and snappy about it. Disciplined, so that my work life balance doesn't suffer. Wisdom to make the best decisions every day. For grace to extend to others especially when it is hard to love. Grateful, to see the upsides despite the downsides of life. Thank you for lending your ears whenever I needed to rant or just tell someone about my concerns. And JOY that only comes from the greatest giver of Joy.

Uncle Kok Keong said it best this morning when he said that "the best and the worst of us are undeserving of God's love". And that is precisely what makes God amazing -- He loves unconditionally. Even though I still fail over and over and over again. Even though I am stubborn, disobedient and lazy. In my mistakes, failures and shortcomings, I can still come to Him and call Him Father. And He has promised to be there with us until the very end, and His grace to sustain us through this journey called life.

Some updates on my life, for the benefit of those still faithfully checking this pretty much dormant space, wondering whether I am as dead as this blog is! Among my greatest joys are in sharing my friend's happinesses, so you'll see some of that as well:

-Ah Moy has been busy with work as her company's new cafe is officially open in BSC. I can't remember the name at the mo (Moy, help me out here, haha) but I am SO proud of her so here I am announcing it on my blog! She helps run Food Foundry in PJ, by the way, home of my favourite Mille Crepe Cake (or a name that sounds like that!) So yes, that is definitely some sunshine in my life. YEY for Moy!
- Kat Lee finished her finals on Wednesday. Lawyer in the making! YEY for Meow!
- Chuen has found an online course to take! YEY! For the uninformed, he's got a subject left to clear before he can come home for good (YEY! hahaha!), provided he aces the subject (no pressure dear :P) and if God-willing, gets an internship/job.
- Dimmiez is working now. I still find it takes some getting used to. But YEY! Can't believe we're all working already. And I got to spend some time catching up with him today which was nice, so YEY! :) And we pulled off a successful birthday surprise for Ahneh aka Arjund today so YEY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AHNEH AND EI LEEN!
- Daniel Ong san, I heard from your mom you're doing well over there and she is soooo proud of you!! Just wanted to let you know that and you can do it!! YEY for Daniel Ong san!
- Gracie's a Dr Chew now! Woohoo!
- Job demands have been increasing, but I still have a job! Yey! :P
- Princess JD Shorty Poopsella is prancing and gallopping around, back to her usual frisky self. Thanks everyone who prayed for her. I believe your prayers helped, and the painkillers too. Just keep her in your prayers, especially that her back problem doesn't worsen and that her kidney would be able to sustain the painkillers (apparently it has long term adverse effects).
- An interview got postponed, even though I didn't deserve a postponement. Shorty says it's God's blessing for worship. I take it as undeserved kindness from God.
- Jusjus is back but I haven't had time to meet up. Will try soon Jusjus!
- Journo Daphy Cheah has found a new job! YEY! Am always extremely proud of my Journos. I love you guys!
- I have experienced God's providence and answered prayers aplenty in these few months. Something simple as arriving at an interview on time cannot be taken for granted. Or a good interview. Opportunities to show love, even though it is trying. Lots of learnings on how to improve myself. Happy moments, like an unexpected phone call, a simple text message or a long chat with a friend. People encouraging me on with prayers and support. Youths who reflect God's love and are such a blessing to my life. Family who show concern when I needed it most.
- I am still trying to find time to upload US photos, so bear with me, people. I have begun, but the process keeps getting deferred. Also aim to post a blog entry about it but that will also have to wait.

- Crissy has started a new t-shirt business! Check it out! So exciting (!!!!!!) and I love her designs (as do many other girls in church haha!) So proud of her that I'm also promoting it here although I lack the readership of famous bloggers! SPREAD THE WORD, PEOPLE :P And have fun guessing who the models are (not very difficult really!)
- Copa IBA came and went and the super oldies (Above-23) took part in captainball! We reached the quarter-finals before bowing out to Bangsar, who went on to become runner-up to an undefeatable Bandar Sunway. Earlier, we "kena tar pau-ed" by Sunway. They really deserved to win! Under-15s fought gallantly but also exited in the quarter-final stage. But it was great fun! Hopefully we go further next year, with training and "star players" back from studies!

Ok, I think I'm late for sleep :P Goodnight folks!

Thanks for praying for me!

happy daddy's day

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 03:54:30 GMT

happy daddy's day, 'dy :)